In this corner, I give you the dog—noble beast, protector of property, loyal to his master, unequivocally loving.
In the opposite corner, the cat, whose highest achievement is being a home and garden decoration. And the cat was just honored by the Minneapolis Walker Art Center with the first-ever in the whole world, film festival of Internet cat videos?!
I submit this proof from the indisputable authority, the “National Enquirer,” (October 8, 2012 issue) that it is the dog that is so much more deserving of such distinction. I mean, after all, dogs move!
- “Blue,” 85-year-old Ruth Gay’s mongrel (a plain old dog, without breeding or education), saved her from alligators;
- “Toby,” performed the Heimlich maneuver on his master who choked on an apple (probably while reading that cats were getting their own show at the Walker);
- “Roselle,” a yellow Lab who led her blind owner down 1,463 steps to safety (9/11).
Now, I was a cat person as a child. But that was just until I left home and could get a dog, so I know whereof I speak. I know from personal experience—I’m not just some rabid anti-cat person. Cats have their place. They’re sleek, trim, every whisker in place; man should aspire to look like the cat but be dog-like in character.
Dogs are magnanimous. They have a sense of humor. The term “leader of the pack” originated with dogs. Why, dogs have been elected mayor of several towns in the U.S. I Googled “cat” and couldn’t find a single office holder.
Cats hang out on kitchen counters where you prepare food, whereas most dogs can’t jump that high.
A dog will tolerate his owner’s dressing him up in silly costumes—to be, for instance, a clown. The cat will wither you with its stare…you are the clown.
Talk to a cat? All you’ll get is hooded eyes, that look that says, “I know the answer and you don’t.”
A dog will intuit what your problem is and do something about it—especially if it involves food. His most favorite challenge is to solve the dilemma of what to have for dinner.
A cat’s tail frequently assumes the shape of a question mark, which translates: “Where have you been all this time? My food is late!”
A dog’s tail wags his whole body in exultation that you returned to him, and he doesn’t make catty remarks because you forgot to open the doggy door before leaving yesterday.
Do you need more proof that the dog is worthier of your entertainment dollar? When was the last time you paid to see a cat movie?
Image credit: iCLIPART.com