Part 3 in the continuing saga known as Love Letters to Jack* (Dorsey).
All I want for Christmas is world peace. And for Twitter to work. Not just for my own self-interest, but for the world. Peace on earth begins with family, Jack, and the flock is unhappy.
You know those Christmas letters the relatives send? Here are a few excerpts that I can repeat:
“I log on to Junior’s website and say something inspirational, follow 500 carefully selected others who could benefit from those words of wisdom, and my follower count actually decreases! Is that any way to treat family?”
“I want to extend my holiday wishes that you’d fix Twitter to you ear-to-ear but when I go to ‘Help’ your phone number is unlisted. So then I go to that big impersonal phone book in the sky and find ‘Contact Us.’ I figure I’ll leave you a quick message to call me. Well, after leafing through 20 screens and being asked all these personal questions, your auto-responder says ‘Thanks for getting in touch. Our Direct Message support is temporarily unavailable. Please submit all requests to us through https://help.twitter.com/forms while we work on improving this experience.’
You’d better “improve the experience” fast, Jack, because when they do that, you make them ‘Select the topic you need help with,’ fill out a zillion pages of even more personal questions so that apparently you can dump their messages in the right trash can, because the upshot of that is that they never hear from you.
They’re not buyin’ it, Jack. Our stock is down 30% this year. Tell the elves to stop mucking with the algorithms, get involved and care! Show us the love and get some real phone or live chat going like successful companies do. You need to engage.
Next, I’ll work on your New Year’s resolutions. My Christmas gift to you.
*Jack: Jack Dorsey, Twitter founder and CEO.
Cathy Turney is the 2018 winner for American Business Awards’ Stevie for Get 10,000+ Twitter Followers—Easily, Quickly, Ethically
Contact Cathy at firstname.lastname@example.org