It’s a known fact that the male brain does not mature until age 28 (if then). So, whenever I need some customer support and I call a number that connects me with a twenty-something male, I remind myself that it takes a village to raise a child, and this is a teaching moment. Or I hang up and redial.
I was researching the ponderous question, “What do legislators do to deserve a paycheck?” when “Christopher” from the state whose name rhymes with “Fexas” greeted me on my screen. Ahhhhh, “Live Chat.”
This is the verbatim* transcript of my discussion with Christopher, whom I determined by the conclusion of our chat, should run for Congress.
Screen: You are now chatting with a Fexas.gov Representative.
Christopher: Thank you for using Fexas.gov. Please note that Fexas.gov is the official website of the State of Fexas, and not a government agency. My name is Christopher. Please hold one moment while I research your inquiry.
After five minutes, during which Christopher should have had time to: (A) go to the restroom; (B) finish his lunch; or (C) type a response even if he were using his thumbs, I typed:
“Are you there?”
Christopher: This information is outside my scope of support.
Me: So, who should I call?
Christopher: I am only web support for Fexas.gov.
Me: That’s not what I asked. How about you ask your supervisor?
Christopher: We do not have information on this.
Christopher: Even our supervisor won’t have info on this.
Christopher: Think of us as technical support for the website.
Me: That’s not what your website says.
Christopher: We have no info on the news or that subject.
Me: Christopher, as a “mature” person, I’m going to give you a tip: The more you extend yourself to do things outside the scope of your job, the more you will be rewarded in life.
Christopher: The more I can get fired.
Christopher: You may have to do a search on the info through Google or the search bar on the site.
Me: Let’s run my question past your supervisor and see what he says. One of life’s challenges, Christopher, is to please the public, your employer, and still remain within the legal statutes of the state of Fexas.
Christopher: Is there anything else I can do for you? I have to stay within my scope. If you are not able to access a search, I can open a search and give you the results. The results I will get will be the same as you would get on a search.
Me: Well, Christopher, my results would probably not be the same as yours, because that’s why fate brought us together—I can’t figure your website out. And…I’m guessing you’re twenty-something!
Christopher: These are the search results: http://www.fexas.gov/en/search/ages/results, etc.
Me: Well, thank you very much, Christopher. I’ll be sure to look for your name on a ballot someday.
Christopher: No problem. Have a nice day.
(Graphics credit: iClipArt)