It’s a known fact that the happiest people at Christmas are men and children. We female elves decorate, cook, and entertain. Men* observe us from the eye of the storm and (occasionally) ask, “Do you need help?” to which we
snap reply, “Oh, no—I just wave my candy cane and, magic! All this just happens! Kind of a Christmas miracle.” Do you hear me sisters?!
Post holiday blues?! Not for us elfettes! It’s the goal we strive for—the finish line. The sheer joy of burning the “to do” list on the embers of the yule log sends us into conniptions.
We women do it for the memories. Some of us are happy actually doing it. Some get happy in order to do it. Kind of like a wedding, where we spend so much time and money preparing, and the day goes by so fast that the memories are the most enjoyable part of the event.
Since men and children are the happiest at the holidays, what about all those sisters who don’t have men or children—76% according to the U.S. Census Bureau (which combines men and kids into the same statistical group)? Millions of potentially unhappy women—or not! Let’s look at the positives associated with being in the 76%:
- You probably haven’t reached your own personal fiscal cliff.
- You are not called upon to produce copious amounts of food gifts, the recipients of which thank you with, “Chocolate gives me a headache,” “I took it to the office to share,” and the ubiquitous holiday lie, “I’m on a diet.”
- You can leave the party at the first sign of a communicable disease.
Just wait, you “men!” Valentine’s Day is right around the corner!
*Men: a term used loosely to describe husbands and significant others who will reap the rewards of close proximity to the elfette—but not gender specific.
Clip art from iClipart.com