Having been volunteered to serve on the Regalia Committee, I am spending a lot of time compiling a list of irresistible Things to Buy. I know that each selection will be subject to review, discussion, and probable veto, which would render all of this effort moot, but ladies of the club, if we concede a few battles, the fellows may be more inclined to let us get a new car.
Here are several items the committee proposes for consideration. A list that would generate shock and awe over our innovative thinking, that would make the Golden Gate Club the envy of all others. Or not. But isn’t the point of this exercise to show how hard we’ll work…to get a new car?
Item #1: Austin Healey Designer Dog. The standard poodle is the perfect choice for Designer Dog because all that messy science has been done—poodles are perfect. Border collies are the smartest breed according to border collie owners, and they do have blue eyes which puts them on the same intellectual level as 99 percent of Healey owners, but standard poodles are Number Two and they try harder.
Did you know that poodles were auditioned to be police dogs in the 1940s but rejected because they were too playful? Several Healey owners were ejected from a restaurant at Rendezvous 2015 for having too much fun, too. See the connection? Plus, the Golden Gate Club logo would look very cool embossed on the side of a fluffy poodle.
This is an area where the Regalia Committee can provide exceptional service; I, in fact, have a direct line to Poodle Rescue. How ideal is this?
Item #2: CarCapsule. An item that would sell itself. Do the math: for one percent of what it costs to build a second garage in which to house her dependable Japanese car, a Significant Other could move the Healey to the driveway.
Item #3: Towable refrigeration unit. How could the Healey Owner argue against air conditioning that doesn’t spoil the authenticity of the car? True, it would look glaikit, tomfoolish, and cockeyed, but those are all British adjectives, so objection overruled. If we must yield on this one, though, we’re that much closer to…a new car.
Item #4: Emergency kit. This would include:
• Your husband’s credit card
• Metaphysical gong music on an iPod
• A new car
So, Healey Owners, let us know if we’re on the right track here. Would you buy any of these items? Should we think of more? We want your guidance and involvement, because the happier you are, the more likely we’ll be to get a new car.