Who can’t use a little destressing today? So when Howard invited me to his yoga class on Zoom, I couldn’t refuse…even though the closest I’ve ever come to yoga was a meditation class years ago during which I achieved the soundest sleep I ever had.
Now, Howard is not only a yogi, my publisher, and a retired psychotherapist who makes the best chocolate chip cookies ever, he’s my Bro, the brother I never had wish I had. I was on board!
To prepare, I read up on yoga. When done right, the practitioner achieves optimum physical, mental and spiritual wellness. I could use some of that, so I enthusiastically ordered fuchsia colored yoga blocks, yoga belt and yoga mat on Amazon. And, uh oh, they arrive in time for class.
Class begins. I position my laptop so that I can see but not be seen. Howard directs me to move it to the floor. I’m complimented on my yoga attire and matching paraphernalia, so the class is off to a good start. Bosco, my poodle, wanders into the room and, on cue, shows everyone how to do an authentic downward dog, which does nothing to mellow him out, but that doesn’t discourage me. I know real yoga is harder.
We begin with stretching exercises. Then tightening exercises. My muscles respond pretty well, or maybe I can’t feel the pain because my mind is responding with a headache. Acetaminophen is not an option as it would upset my tummy and totally ruin the aesthetic. So I stare out the window, consciously working on achieving mindlessness mindfulness.
I see a moving truck pull up to the house I just sold. This reminds me of real estate which kills the euphoria I’m trying to achieve. This should not bother me. Obviously I’m not focused. Maybe I need a side of psychotherapy. Maybe Howard’s next class will be more comprehensive and offer both.